Walking with Jesus

'Fix your eyes on me', says the Lord

2011-06-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

The beauty of God's creation is endless. Praise and glory be to God. (This picture was taken from SIC Little Rock Bible Study Class.)

It’s was Monday, June 13, 2011 and like any other Monday which I have gone through except I am late again due to traffic jammed at Jalan Universiti and the Rothman Roundabout which was not yet complete caused the traffic jam.

We reached at KFC Sea Park at 5.40pm and my wife told me that I don’t have time to buy dinner for her as it’s very late. I told her that I will buy her a dinner and I will not be late for evening mass. It took me three minutes to buy her dinner which consist of rice and three dishes at a shop in front of KFC Sea Park.

The we rushed to Paramount LRT Station and I reached Kelana Jaya LRT Station at 6.00 o’clock and I need a real fast walk to the church as the mass should have been started at 6.00 o’clock. This walk normally takes me around 10 to 15 minutes.

The mass had started when I reached the Church and the priest is about to read the Gospel of the Day.

Mark 16: 15 - 20 (RSV)

15. And he said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation.

16. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.

17. And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues;

18. they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover."

19.So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God.

20. And they went forth and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by the signs that attended it. Amen.

"Thank you, God for being always with me."

I took one of the back seat and then took an intense look at the huge crucifix in the center of the Church.
And pray for my wife who brought me to the Catholic Church, my parents and my brothers and sisters and friends either in real life, Facebook or my family in Kingdom of Camelot.

Then the time came to receive the Holy Communion and joy filled my heart to be one with my Lord and King.

There were three communion minister and a priest who gave out the Holy Commuion.

In the middle of Church have two long queues to receive the Holy Communion and I thought that I will go for the shorter queue on my left facing the icon of Mother Mary.

There was a tickle in my heart but i just ignored it. I want own way.

So I hurried myself over to the left of the altar to receive the Holy Communion and as I am only a few meters aways, the communion minister completed his task and turned away to keep his balance of the Holy Communion.

'Ah! How can it be?", i said to myself. "Why I am so unlucky?"

I turned to the middle two rows of the queues which the priest is and there were still five persons to go.

I told myself, "this time, I will get the Lord."

I walk all the way back and I saw the priest had completed and left Brother Richard Lai.

I said to myself, "Can not be Brother Richard Lai do not see me."

I felt like running when I saw Brother Richard Lai turned around when he finished his task.
It's only a few meters away. How can it be?

I dropped on my knees, felt sad and sorry and pray,

"O Lord, forgive me for sin. Forgive for ignoring your lead. I just want to be with you"

I looked up at the altar and I saw the priest is looking at me and Brother Francis, one of the communion minister motioned to Brother Richard Lai to minister to me.

When Brother Richard Lai walked down to minister to me, my mind played a record which says,
"Fix your eyes on me."

Now I know without doubt that God is always with me and He cares for me as a Father cares for his child.

I am a naughty child but I love my God with all my heart, with all soul, with all my might. I am always doing the wrong things and need God's grace every moment in my life. God is my strenght. God is my power. God is my breath. God is my life. God is my Day and my night. God is my all in all. Without God in my life, I am a dead man walking.

Glory be to God. In Jesus, I trust.

HE will never let you go.

2011-06-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

Today, June 22nd, God had moved me to google and visit the website of my CCC teacher Father John Corapi....for no reason.

Through his teaching on Catechism of Catholic Church, I have deepen renriched my Catholic faith. His deep and commanding voice echoes with authority and I knew he speak from his heart and his words sinked in my memory ever since. I know I am not the only who had gone through his CCC lectures series and I am sure that most of them had been enlighten and enriched in their faith. God must be smiling a his once lost son but now become His beloved instrument to reach out to His lost sons and daughters through out the world.

That was four years ago.

'They are lurking with their traps and waiting to devour you....'

I just know from my google and his website.
Then came March 2011...the trap is set and executed....BANG!!!

Father John Corapi is accursed by someone who is withou name. Funny...how can be without name.

They thought they have him nailed him and made him disappear with disgrace but believe me once God touched you and claimed you to be His own, and better still his instrument, he won't let you go that easy as he is a loving and faithful God. God will hold you closer to his bossom and whisper his love for you in your ears and melt your heart with his love.

John Corapi will never be alone in this testing time as not only God is with him but also millions from all over the world of whom John had touched through his teaching either through tapes, CD, DVD, Radio or his seminars.

"John Corapi, we are with you because we believe in the One who guide you and lead you back to the Church. And the same One also have lead us to the catholic Church and believe in the One True God."

You may wonder why I said earlier, 'believe me once God touched you and claimed you to be His own, and better still his instrument, he won't let you go that easy as he is a loving and faithful God.'

I speak from my experience and relationship with God.

Once I was a sinful man and still am but the Spirit of God helps me in my daily life or else I am a very weak and timid person, an old man with a frawn face. But God gives me joy in my heart to smile even when the days is tough. He gives me comfort when I am crying for falling in sin.

Many times, I tried to do my own old ways in life but I can't as God is always there to guard and protect me.

On Monday, June 20th, I done it again. I am really down and decided to quit my Little Rock Bible Study and I do not inform my wife about my decision of quitting though.

Next I composed and email to my Little Rock Class informing them about my decision and the email was as below.
"Dear Friends and fellow Rocker,
First of all, you are real ROCK as on the ROCK we are build.
With a heavy heart, i would like to inform you that i won't be continued this journey with you any longer. I have personal thing need to settle with my Lord and my GOD. It may takes a life time for me to settle this but we know that God is faithful and His Word is truth. And it's may takes a blink of an eye because we are talking about God here. And you see, I am amongst you watch the video and sitting next to Ken. God can do all thing of which we can not comprehend. It's bad when you have to confront a King but now I confront our loving Father as a Son who knows Him as He really is full of compassion and love. One day we may journey this wonderful Story together again and I ope it will happe sooner.
May God bless you and your journey till the end. May he walks with you side by side in your daily life to guide and protect you.
Peace be with you.
Simply a gardener of the Lord,
Patrick John Ari Ragai aka John of Jesus
(should you miss my daily personal story...> visit me personally at http://johnofjesus.blogspot.com/

Then I said to myself, 'yes, it's done! I am free.'

But alas!

After I send the email out, my heart is trouble as if someone is squeezing my heart. I am weak to my bone and sadness overcome me. I tried to smile but I do not have joy in my heart to share, it's gone.

During lunch time, my wife ask me, "why your face looks so angry as if other people owe you millions?"

I just say, "I am ok but I do not know why I am very weak."

Then I read my friends' reply on my email and that make me more weak and sad.

At around 4:00PM, my wife visit her friend, Irene who sit next to me but my wife do not talk to me. I thought that is a normal business visit which later reveal a different story.

At 5.30PM, I went to my wife's office and sit in front of her and she told me her side of the story. She told me her that her heart was trouble and reckless and she can not work that why she was walking around in the office since 4.00PM.

She asked me weather I have done something to her. I said, "Nothing."

Then I tell her about my decision to quit my class and she said, "No wonder I feel like that."

Then her word of instruction come, "You have to go to class and you have to finish what you started."

I am still holding to my decision until 5.45PM as I realize God won't let me go that easy because He loves me. And once He touched you, He won't let you go.

My wife sends me to St Ignatius Church and said,
"Though it is late but I know God will let you to be in his feast." She is talking about the evening mass which start a 6.00PM.

When we reached the Church, she said,
"My heart ok already. Now I feel peace and joy in my heart. Don't do that again!!"
I just smile at her as my innerself is laughing with joy.
Before she drives off, she said, "Now I see you can smile, not like lunch time."

I rushed to the Church but stop at the grotto to say, "Mother Mary, I am here."

The mass had started and the Gospel Reading had been completed. The priest is doing an offering of bread and wine and I offer myself in union with the offerring of the priest as I take my seat at the last bench.

Then joy filled my soul and songs touched me because that's the song I used to sing when I first encountered the Lord. I said to myself, "That's my song!" God is reminding my of my first encounter with him.

Now the time for Holy Communion and I pray, "Lord, I am late. I am not worthy to receive you."

And the Lord said, "Come, I am waiting for you."

Could I reject an invitation from my Lord?

With joy in my heart and my feet feel like dancing as I am so happy to accept the Lord and to be one with him

After mass, Brother Ken and Brother Francis came to me and I hug them both as if I have been long away. I do not know why but I missed them. Then we went for dinner before our class at 8.00PM.

During the praise and worship before our class that night, God remind me with another song which I always sing when I first encouter the Lord.

The song is "Song of A Young Prophet."
"Oh, the Word of the Lord, deep within my Soul...."
Right there a bit of 'water' rolled down my check.

Back to today.....
It's sad to hear about Father John Corapi case but God won't him let go that easy.
Let us pray for him and his accuser. May God be always the only JUDGE who sits on the throne of Glory.
"Father John Corapi, we will be always with you in prayer."

For those who are a donkey for God, remember that though there were many donkeys in Isreal but He only choose one to ride into Jerusalem. Wow!! How lucky was that donkey!!

And the Lord said to us,
"You do not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you." (John 15;16 RSV)
With this in mind, let's us storm the Door of Heaven with our prayer for Father John Corapi and his attacker.

If you fall, remember this:
"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18 RSV)

In time of trial, be comforted with this assurance:
"No temptation is has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may able to endure it." (I Cor 10:13 RSV)

For those who want to follow Father John Corapi's blog, please goto theblacksheepdog.us
May Peace be always with you. In Jesus I trust.

I give you my Heart

2011-06-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

God clothes His creation with beauty and perfection. Just imagine how much more He want to cloth us....

As I am going through my 2004 daily journal, I came across this particular experience which I have shared with my brothers and sisters either at home, at work, in Church and even man in the street.

I shared this experience because it really touch the inner core of my soul.

The Holy Scriptures said, "The Lord see the hearts of men."

How important is the heart of man to God? King David was the man after God's own heart. King Solomon's many wives turned his heart from the Lord his God which kindled God's anger and broke his kingdom. And that core of man is where this experience happened and it changed my life forever.

This is how the experience happen.
I was still an infant in my knowledge of spirituality at that moment in time though I have experienced God's love through His Holy Spirit back on 28th of March 2003. The Lord prompts me more and more to read the Holy Scriptures, Divine Writing and the lives of Saints. My prayer became intense and slowly became a contemplative prayer. Prayer became my breath and the Lord became my friend. I desire more of the Lord and I want to be like Him in all thing. My God and my All.

One of the verse that I used to meditate everyday was: "My zeal for your house, O God, consume me like fire." My desire was to be one with this house of God become intensified.

Lord Jesus said, "God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth." (RSV 4:24)
I told myself, "I did that and what more, O God.?"
And Saint Paul nailed it by saying 'We are the temple of the Holy Spirit.'
"Ah!" I said, "this is the jackpot. I want to be his temple."

Then Saint James brought me more assurance by saying, "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you men of double mind." (RSV James 4:8)
This hit me straight in the eye. I am a sinner, my hands are dirty in my daily dealing, my heart no better and my mind full of logic and reasoning.
"Ah! " I said, "I am doomed again. How can I be near to God, my King with this dirty wreck body of mine, clothed with beauty of the world but the dirt of heaven. How can I be? O God, Help me."

And Saint James further said, "Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you."
Now I see a new hope and with His grace I will be the person I am created for.

I choose a simple prayer and recite it every breath either day or night. I recite it in my inner core, deep in my heart until it became my breath and one with me. Days become months and i keep going until I forget why I am doing it in the first place. I just love recite it and my love for Jesus grow too.

The prayer is :
"Sacred Heart of Jesus, Have Mercy On Me."

At one time, I rushed to my wife and I shout, "I am in love with the Lord."

And at other time, i said, "I am falling in love again."
My wife just looked at me with a funny smile. If other people, they may think I am crazy.

Then one afternoon, I felt sleepy and I took a nap in our guest room. I wake up as someone is teaching me to sing 'Ikan kek, mak eloi eloi, ikan gelama mak elai elai but the words were change into 'I praise you, Jesus; I love you, Jesus.' When I am awake, I am still singing the song. While cooking for our dinner that night, i shared with my wife. Now it seems normal for her.

Then came the day that i will never forget, one peaceful Sunday afternoon, I felt sleepy and took a nap in our guest room again. I think maybe I have slept for 30 minutes or so, I felt somebody grabbed my chest while standing over me. His hand went through my chest and took out something but I experience no pain.

It's a man, it's the Lord.

And the Lord said, "I take out your heart and I give you my heart."

I opened my eyes and scared to the bone while searching for my heart and holding the place on my chest where the Lord had place his hand through my chest. I am expecting a hole and blood but my chest is still in place and no wound and no blood.

My heart is beating fast. I ran down to my wife and told her that the Lord had taken my heart and given me his heart.

She asked me if I am ok as my face was pale like just seeing a ghost.
I told my wife that I am not ok as I have just lost my heart and the heart in me is not mine.

Since that day, I know that the heart that beat in me is the Lord's own heart. And I believe because His presence in my life keep me going even in the toughest situation.

Today, I delay this blog because I want to see TV and I obey when the Lord said, "When you see TV, do not write this blog because I am not there."

The best way to recall the deeds of God is to be guided by His Spirit or else you will write a story which is merely a story that never happen. The other thing is if you write the wrong thing while guided by the spirit of God, your heart will feel a pain as if squeeze by someone. Then you know you are on the wrong path. My wife always say, "do not play with the things of God as He knows all thing."

I love my parents as I love my God, I love my brothers and sisters as I love my Lord. I can not love my God without loving my parents and I can not love my Lord without loving my brothers and sisters.

God is Love.

Peace be with you.
Happy Pentecost Day.
Lets His Spirit Falls on All His Creatures.

Into The Bright White Light

2011-06-11T00:28:00.000-07:00


"I am the Light of the World; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12 RSV)

I have told this experience over and over to my brothers and sister, either at home, in the office or in the church. And now I want to share it with you and know that God is real who walking with you if you want Him to walk with you. You may be afraid in the beginning but you will miss Him when His presence is not with you. And yet you are confident that He is always THERE beside you as He promised and He is faithful till the end of time.

Praise and Glory be to God.

I was boarding a LRT train at Paramount Garden in Petaling Jaya on my way for evening mass at St. Ignatius Church, Kelana Jaya.

On the train, I was standing next to the iron bar in the middle of the train with my left hand holding the iron bar and my right hand holding a Rosary beads. I am hiding the Rosary from the eyes of the passengers in my palm as my inner self said, "Do not be a show off!!" The train was fully packed.

And as the train moved, I recited the Devine Mercy Prayer.

Begin with: The Our Father…

Our Father in Heaven, Holy be Your Name

Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done,

on Earth as in Heaven.

Give us today, our daily bread

Forgive us our sin as we forgive those who sin against us

Do not bring us to the test but delivery us from evil.

Amen.

Then the Hail Mary…

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you;

Blessed are you amongst women, blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God; Pray for us, sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Next the Apostle’s Creed…

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord: Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary; suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from there He shall come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen

Then, on the large bead before each decade:

Eternal Father,
I offer you the Body and Blood,
Soul and Divinity,
of Your Dearly Beloved Son,
Our Lord, Jesus Christ,
in atonement for our sins
and those of the whole world.

On the ten small beads of each decade, say:

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion,
have mercy on us and on the whole world.

While I was at this prayer,

I lost myself as the bright white light surround me and I am alone but at peace.

I moved into the bright light and I do not know where I am but it’s a peaceful place.

It's only a few second or minute but long enough for me to know that there is a place of peace in space where our eyes can not see. And only God can brings us there if we trust him completely.

What stick to my mind till now is why when I was there in the light, I felt that I am been there for hours and yet it's only a few seconds or minute in real time. It's a mystery for me.

Then I heard the sound of the train and turn my head back and see that I am outside the train at Taman Bahagia Station. I saw the passengers passed me and I rushed back to the train as my station is at Kelana Jaya not this one.

It's just 5.45PM and the evening mass will start at 6.00PM.

When I am back in the train, I ask myself, "What is going on? What had just happened to me?"

I have no logic explanation to myself.

But in my heart, a warm sensation prompted me to praise God and filled with joy, I come to the Church to praise and worship my God.

Peace be with you. Amen.

Why do you abandon me?

2011-06-10T04:17:00.000-07:00

“Praise be to God in the Highest Heaven. Let all within me bless His holy Name.”

The Beauty of God's creation lead me to love Him more and more.

It’s June 2^nd 2011, it’s an Ascension Day, a day of obligation for all Catholic.

Agnes and I went to St. Ignatius Church for an Ascension Day Mass as we used to do every year.

After parked our car by the roadside, we walk to the Church.

As we entered the Church, we took a bit of Holy water with the tips of our fingers and make a sign of a cross on our body and did an obeisance toward the Tabernacle as a sign of respect and honor the one inside the Tabernacle.

Then we looked for the free seat in the pews and found the two seats which were not far from the middle of the Church.

My wife took a seat on my left and I placed my bag pack in between of us. She kneeled down and prayed her heart out to God.

In my heart, I said, “Lord, Listen to her prayer.”

I looked intensely at the big crucifix in the middle of the Church as kneeled down to pray.

As I closed my eyes softly, I pray……

“Thank you, Father for bringing me here. Thank you, Father for giving me, Jesus.”

In the stillness of my soul, a soft voice whispered that broke my one way prayer and the voice said,

“Why do you abandon me?”

Immediately I recognized the voice and respond,

“My Lord! My Lord, forgive me for I have sinned. Have mercy on me.”

Sadness and regret overtook me and tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I recalled all the days and times that I have wasted for not being with the Lord and heed to His voice. And also the time I speeded up my personal prayer time either in the morning or in the evening.

I asked myself, “What have I done that I abandon my best friend and my Lord?”

One thing for sure, I am wasting too much time on the number one social network, the Facebook playing games like Kingdom of Camelot, Farmville and Cityville.

I cry my heart out to my God for mercy and forgiveness.

Now I am really doomed as I am depending on the Lord for everything and yet he said that I have abandoned Him.

I am really sorry for the time I pushed Him aside as His voice came at any time, either in the washroom, while walking to park or while busy doing office work or in the midst of my friends talking.

Normally I would say, “Not now Lord, I am in the washroom or not now Lord, I am with my friends or not now Lord, I am busy with my work for month end closing.” I have all sort to reason just to push Him aside and go my way.

And yet my daily prayer is always, “O God, let me be always in your presence, to be with you.”

I cry and cry as the mass continued.

I am weak to the bone and now I really need my God to be with me again as He used to be. I want Him in my all, my days and my nights, my works and my play, my eating and my drinking, my joy and my suffering, my laughing and my crying, my awake and my sleeping, my sitting and my walking, my washroom time and amongst my friends, my dreams and my hope. I want to be with the Lord forever.

Slowly my spirit is lifted and joy once more filled my soul and I know the Lord is back with me.

I praise Him in my soul and I praise Him in my spirit. I thank Him in my soul and I thank Him in my spirit.

The mass is ended but my soul is rejoicing in the spirit.

As we want to move out, a man tapped on my shoulder.

It’s Nelson Gow, my room mate during our retreat at Maranatha Retreat House at Janda Baik, Pahang.

We shake hands and he hit me with this question.

“Now, God still talk to you?”

I looked at him with a funny smile but no answer. I just could not answer him.

I hope with these blog posting, he will know why I do not answer him.

Praise and Glory be to God.

Inescapable God

2011-04-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?

(Psalm 139:7 NRSV-CE)

It's a beautiful and peaceful Monday morning on March 28th, 2011 and yet early that morning, I informed my wife that i won't be attending evening mass at St. Ignatius Church. I felt I am not ready and a bit tired. Normally every Monday I am attending evening Mass at St. Ignatius Church before my Scripture Study Class.

I went through the day as normal and when the evening comes, I told my wife that i will be late where I normally goes off at 5.15pm and rush to Paramount LRT Station but not today.

We depart from DKSH office at 5.25pm and we were caught in a traffic jam at Jalan Universiti heading toward Rothmans Roundabout.

My wife grumble, "See! now jammed, we should go earlier."

I responded, "Never mind, my class starts at 8.00pm and i won't go for evening mass."

We reached Paramount LRT station at around 5.40pm and i took the train at 5.45pm.

I told myself, "Now I am really late."

I reached Kelana Jaya LRT station at around 5.52pm and now i have to walk to St. Ignatuis Church which is about ten to fifteen minutes walk.

It's a bit drizzling and i open my small umbrella...and walk in my sweet time because I know I am late.

As I walked along, i pray, "Father, walk with me."

Then i did a Chaplet of Devine Mercy in my heart while walking. I am not rushing as I normally did; rushing for the mass and worry that i will be late. Today I am just walking with my Lord.

When I reached the gate of the Church where the guard is station, the Church's bell rang which indicate the evening mass is going to start.

I turn to my inner-self and ask the Lord,
"How come, Lord? It's cannot be. I should be late."

The walked on and attended the mass with a joyful heart for God walks with me.

After mass, i went to the Prayer Room and to be just being in His presence. I praise Him in my spirit and giving thanks for His ever presence in my life.

I don't felt hungry that evening so i don't take my dinner for the night. I went straight to our meditation room.

In that room, I play this music.

It's a beautiful song by David Haas.
I closed my eyes and let the words of this song carry me deeper in His presence. I am in my own world of love and peace.

Suddenly someone opened the door and he is surprise to see me there.
It's Brother Ken Cham.

"Ah!! you frighten me!!", he cried with his right hand held high.

As Francis and Ken are around, I moved over to our lecture room and there again.....

"John, what's the reading today? Can you mark the Bible for the reading?" Brother Francis asked me.

I said, "Sure, I knew the reading for today. It's about Jesus telling his disciples that prophet is not welcome in his own home town."

And took the Holy Bible from the cupboard, marked the Gospel reading and place the Bible on the altar.

In my heart I pray, "Lord, I don't want to do the reading today. Let them ask someone else."

Before the class, we went off to another room again for our meditation session with Nicholas and Francis.

At around 7.45pm, we joined the rest in the lecture class.
We started off with praise and worship. During the second song, Francis say something in my direction but I looked back to Jenny.

Jenny respond, "Why you look at me?" I thought Francis is calling her not me.

I just keep quiet and when we want to start the 3rd song which is the Enthronement, Francis motion to me again.

"Ahh!! Me? Reading?" I respond.

As I moved forward to enthrone the word, i pray..."why me, Lord? I am so scared to read in front of these seasoned believers."

With my shaking hands, I placed the opened Bible on the altar with a lighted big candle. I am nervous. Then I moved backward and continued singing. When the singing end, i will do the reading.

As we continue singing, i pray, "Lord, help me. I am so nervous and scared. Help me to read your word."

When the singing stop, i moved forward and lift up the Holy Bible.......

I start reading when we finish a prayer to the Holy Spirit.

When i opened my mouth to read, my timid self flee and I am new Bible Reader with a deep commanding voice. I tell myself, " This is good."

As I read on, my heart is blooming with love and joy filled my soul. I want more but the reading end.

Now I know why believers like to be a Lector or someone who read the Holy Scripture, God grace is abundant where the WORD is.

Praise and Glory be to God, the Father Almighty and to Jesus, His beloved One and to His Holy Spirit, the love of two combined.

Peace be with you. May His Spirit walks with you always.

(Appreciate your comment, please.)

Ancestors are back!!

2011-03-24T05:40:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011 and we are on the way to our office at DKSH Malaysia, Jalan University but my mind is thinking whether I should tell anyone in the office about this shouting in my ears last night, "JESUS, HELP ME!!" three time.

At almost lunch time, I share this incident with my friend, Ms Chew Geok Eng.

The hours passed and evening comes.

In the evening, I have a new project based on my next week Holy Scripture Class on Early World Part 2.
I arranged all the ancestors from ADAM down to JACOB, Son of Isaac with their length of life, when they born with their sons and daughters.

I tell myself, "this is good." I print out one piece and paste it in my Dairy.

In the old days, they live so long.

When i arrived home that night, I am in a new place. My house is so noisy and full of people. I sense a lot of people is coming home. The Presence is strong but not frightening, just peace in the noises.

"Lord, who are they?" I ask.

His answer is "You know them."

I said, "Ok. This is good."

Then I do my normal Facebook and games after my prayer and lighting of two lamps with one candle.
In other words, I am lighting three lights.

Tonight, we hit the bed early at 11.00pm. I doze off at around 11.20pm.

I feel I always wake up through out the night because 'they' are telling me their stories.

When I wake up this morning, I feel i never sleep and yet I am not sleepy.

God is Good. All The Time.

Note: Actually I have these sort of experience years back when i pray for my dead relatives under the title "Prayer for the Soul" which i wrote in my other blog at John Ragai's Life in the Spirit

Jesus, Help Me!!!

2011-03-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's a normal Tuesday for me on March 22nd, 2011; doing office work as usual and my evening playing Facebook games 'Kingdom of Camelot' with my FB's friends while waiting for my wife.
Then we leave for home around 8.30pm and go for our dinner.

Reach home around 10.10pm.

Be with God for a few minutes (should be more time with Him) and back to my Facebook.

I am not fully recover from my cough and flu but it's improving.

We went to bed around 11.45pm but I am not in the mood of sleeping yet. So i just recalled the goodness of God to me and my family during the day and all these years. And I doze off.

At around 1.00am, i heard someone is shouting so loud to my ears.

"JESUS, HELP ME!!!", then stop.

Again he shouts, " JESUS, HELP ME!!!", then stop.

And the third time, "JESUS, HELP ME!!!.

I can bear it any longer, I wake up but no one is around and i see my wife is deep asleep.

Deep in my soul, i know it's me who cried to Lord Jesus in my sleep. But why?

Fright comes to my soul and i grab my brown scapular and my crucifix necklace from the table next to my bed and pray as the ghost bumps start emerge on my body ,

"God, be with me."

Then i sleep like a baby in a mother's arms.

God is Good!! All the Time.

Peace be with you.
(I have shared this with my FB's friends who play KoC, they said it's scary.)

Lent 2011 - Day 3

2011-03-11T03:57:00.000-08:00

Today is the 3rd day of Lent Season. Peace be with you.

(This picture was taken from our car park in Puncak Alam, Selangor. "Let your glory fall, O God.")

I turned to my left side of the bed and my eyes catched the Devine Mercy image next to my bed, my mouth whisper,

“I love you, O God. I love you, Jesus. I love you, Holy Spirit.”

And I fall back on my bed again and I hold my stomach with a sigh, “I have to get rid of this Dunlop tyre.” I pushed myself up the second time and I am ready for the day.

As I walked downstairs to my prayer room, I sing my morning song ….

“Jesus, I enthrone you. I proclaim you are Lord.”

While I am singing and walked downstairs, I made a sign of a cross on the wall and headed for my prayer room. I closed the door and pray.

After finished praying, my mind turn to today’s Gospel reading which I have read and pondered before I slept last night.

------

Gospel, Mt 9:14-15 (NJB)

¹⁴ Then John's disciples came to him and said, 'Why is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not?'

¹⁵ Jesus replied, 'Surely the bridegroom's attendants cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is still with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.

-----
As the hours past, I pondered on the Gospel reading.

“Where am I in this Gospel? Am I, a disciple of Jesus or a disciple of John?
What is or are the messages for me here?
Is it about fasting as this is Lent Season or something else?”

Then I see myself as the disciple of John who is interested to follow Jesus and his new ways,
but still carried his old self.

I start to complain when I see others are not doing the same thing as I did.

'Why is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not?'

In working context, I even complain..
“why he gets better bonus than me?”
“Why he gets all the credits for the works I have done?”
or I may question the others believe and behave,
“why she pray very day and yet her family is in a mess?”

I am not helping and encouraging my neighbors but complaining.

As the intensity of complaining in my heart increase, resentment builds up and peace slip away.

I hide myself from the grace of God with my self righteousness.

I thought I am more holy than them. I thought I am better than the rest.
I thought the enemy is out there but the real enemy is within me.

That enemy within me can only be cast out with prayer and fasting.

I need to fast because fasting humble myself, make myself in need of God more than anything even life itself.

The effectiveness of my fast depends on the fruits I produce.

“For the tree can be told by it’s fruit.” Matt 12:33b (NJB)

If after fasting, my mouth still complaining and gossiping instead of gracious words that encourage and up building myself and my neighbors then I am only a drum wasting my sound without rhythm.

But fasting alone is nothing without prayer.

A simple prayer, a simple sigh, a simple glance to God makes a big different.

When a small baby cried, “Abba!!” to his father makes a big different.

The father left everything else and gives full attention to his son who he loves.

And so does God to his beloved children who turned back to him and cried,
“Father, I am a sinner. Forgive me for my sin. Wash me and cleanse me with the body and blood of Jesus, your beloved Son. Make me whole again worthy to be in your presence.”

When you are in God’s presence, you do not need to fast as the Disciples were with Lord Jesus because nothing can take away from God’s hand. You are in His grace and His protection. But once grace is gone, fasting is one of the way to turn back to God and beg for His mercy.

And Lord Jesus has these to say to those who keep his word on the throne of their hearts.

“Anyone who loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we shall come to him and make a home in him.” John 14:23 (NJB)

How wonderful is it to be always in God’s presence? How wonderful is it to always in His grace?

Amen. May the love of Go be always with you. May His Holy Spirit be always guides your way.

Peace be with you.

Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T21:53:00.000-08:00

Today is Ash Wednesday, a very important day in my life. For me it's a forty days of walking with the Lord closely. It's a day of marking of ashes on the forehead of all Christians which symbolize penitent or coming home and also as a rememberance of who we are. "From ashes to ashes."

My wife and I went to St. Ignatius Church at Taman Plaza for the evening Ash Wednesday Mass.

When the priest makes a sign of a cross on the forehead he said, "Repent for your sin and be faithful to the Gospel." My heart said, "Amen. Here I am, Lord. Let me walk closely beside you during this Lent Season. Let us decorate the Castle within my heart.'

Some may wonder what is Ash Wednesday and why Christian celebrate it? I searched the website Catholic Online and below are their explaination about Ash Wednesday.

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Season of Lent. It is a season of penance, reflection, and fasting which prepares us for Christ's Resurrection on Easter Sunday, through which we attain redemption.

Why we receive the ashes

Following the example of the Nine vites, who did penance in sackcloth and ashes, our foreheads are marked with ashes to humble our hearts and reminds us that life passes away on Earth. We remember this when we are told
"Remember, Man is dust, and unto dust you shall return."
Ashes are a symbol of penance made sacramental by the blessing of the Church, and they help us develop a spirit of humility and sacrifice.
The distribution of ashes comes from a ceremony of ages past. Christians who had committed grave faults performed public penance. On Ash Wednesday, the Bishop blessed the hair shirts which they were to wear during the forty days of penance, and sprinkled over them ashes made from the palms from the previous year. Then, while the faithful recited the Seven Penitential Psalms, the penitents were turned out of the church because of their sins -- just as Adam, the first man, was turned out of Paradise because of his disobedience. The penitents did not enter the church again until Maundy Thursday after having won reconciliation by the toil of forty days' penance and sacramental absolution. Later, all Christians, whether public or secret penitents, came to receive ashes out of devotion. In earlier times, the distribution of ashes was followed by a penitential procession.
Source: http://www.catholic.org/clife/lent/ashwed.php